I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
