Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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