i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
