the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
