im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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