I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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