i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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