absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
