why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
