Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize