I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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