I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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