that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
