we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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