I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
