So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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