i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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