A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
