Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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