TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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