I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize