Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
