That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
