here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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