I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
