that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
now i know why i became what i already was.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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