No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
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July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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