apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
