their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
