Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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