If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize