the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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