no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
