and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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