Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
