he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize