so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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