I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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