i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize