I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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