I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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