i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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