Well douche your snatch and let's go!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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