He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
