theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
