I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize