i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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