STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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