It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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