It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize