it wasn't lemon gatorade
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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