Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
