Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
