Non-Jews are for practice
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
