Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
