ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
