Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
