I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize