fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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