I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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